Liars and Believers

I'm really enjoying my course.

Of course, it helps that all of the people there are completely mad and none have demonstrated any arsehole skills which I often spot straight away.  Yesterday was just registration really, but today we looked more at what a day at Aelfa is like and the general ethos that they have.

It's fantastic because they don't believe in limitations.  Everyone is born a blank canvas and you choose what colours you want to be painted with.  Often we let ourselves be painted with certain colours because our peers/parents/teachers tell us that's the colour that best suits us and therefore shy away from others, but at the end of the day the decision is ours.

Vincent Van Gough (whattaman) was told many times to give up his dreams of being a painter.  His art didn't sell and people laughed at him.  They all wanted to put him into a different box because it was convenient for them.  But he fought against it.  He kept up his painting because it made him happy and he believed in himself to always carry on trying to be the best.  

We should all try to be more like that.  

Rather than letting that little inner voice tell us our limits we should be belting out Defying Gravity.  

Instead of nodding when someone says, 'you can't do this - you're better at this' we should be sticking our tongues out like a small child and going, 'na na na na na, I'm going to do it anyway!!'

In class today we learnt how these changes in mindset greatly affect your physical bodies.  When you have doubts, lie or are insulted you immediately become weaker.  You can prep for it all you like but it's astonishing just how much strength falls out of you.

On the other hand positivity makes us stronger.  So why do we find it so hard to hold on to something that helps us out?

I'm afraid I don't know the answer to that.  I'm not sure that anyone does.  I'd like to say that in my lightbulb moment of learning it, all problems have been fixed and I am now 100% merry and carefree but I'm not.  Annoyingly, that takes time.  I fell down a rabbit hole some time ago and while I am climbing up again, there are setbacks, there are days where I want to give up - but that doesn't matter.  What does matter is that I am trying.  No one can take that away.  

I think the part of the reason why people rarely believe in ourselves is that we're taught from an early age to see those who are confident as arrogant and egotistical.  Of course, there are those out there who are arrogant and egotistical, but there is a difference between them and those who simply believe that they can always try to do their best.  It's seen as far politer to be humble and deny our achievements rather than to be proud of them.  

So, a new goal.  Every day look at yourself in the mirror and say something you're good at.  It can be the same thing every day if that's how long it takes to sink in.  And you have to do it in front of a mirror, because looking in a mirror is hard.  Seeing ourselves makes it all the more real and makes us vulnerable.  We have to look in the mirror and say something positive and we are forbidden from thinking something negative in retaliation.  If you do that, then you have to argue your case and stay in front of that mirror until you win.  

And finally some wisdom from the man.  

'Not matter how your heart is grieving, if you keep on believing, a dream that you wish will come true.'

xx