“Let no one who loves be called altogether unhappy. Even love unreturned has its rainbow.”

So I had a bit of a breakdown the other day.  And, as usual, it wasn't really over anything.  But I got really upset, and then it all just turned into anger.  I wanted to hit someone.  Anyone.  But there was no one around.  So I hit myself, bit myself and pulled my hair, just to prove that I could really.

The really stupid thing I did?  I put it on Facebook.

Aahh Facebook.  You see, this doesn't count because I've only sent it to three people.  I'm not writing it for people to see.  I'm actually talking to myself (I am aware of this)  (why did I just justify that to myself?) (AAAHHH) ANYWAY, to put  it on Facebook is like dancing in Lady Gaga's meat bikini in a Lions den.  Why the fuck would you do it basically?

Now, let's just get things straight.  I HATE girls (or boys) who put something on Facebook, get shit for it, and then have the audacity to go, 'Oh.  I didn't think that anyone would see it.'  Hahahahahaha.  Turd.
I posted what I posted (basically an I hate people, life sucks rant that was fairly reminiscent of Catcher in the Rye (awful book) ) with the intention of people seeing it - not to get sympathy, but so they would get sad and jump in a ditch and die.  I genuinely thought that this was a good idea at the time.  Whoops.

Luckily, I'm not friends with too many dickheads on Facebook.  I got some kind messages from people asking if I needed a chat, I got some gentle teasing from people (including my Manager which was a bit awkward, mainly because I don't want him to think that I am a moody teenager ALL the time).  Yeah, sure I got some comments that were rude - but after being at first really upset and kind reverting back to, I don't want to be bothered with anything any more, I picked myself up and decided that people like that aren't worth bothering about.  Ahh Mummy, that's what you've been telling me for years.  I think that it's just sinking in.

In any case, I got the truth out there that I was unhappy.  I just handled it badly and did it to the wrong audience.  People have told me how important it is to get a strong bond around you filled with people who love you.  So, I've decided to try and do jut that.  Yes,  might end up with less people, but I'll end up with more friends.  xx