I will go the distance

No.  It's not a Peter Pan quote.  Not that I'm aware of anyway.

Just blogging my lovely time in Portsmouth with my gorgeous boyfriend, Aaron.  I had such a fantastic time - I want to remember it forever.

First thing first, Portsmouth is so cheap!  The taxi to the pier cost me £4.  It was beautiful too, luckily I arrived on a sunny day (British summers are so unpredictable).  

We explored the beach

And found new treasures

And castles

And mysterious flying objects in the sky

Aaron discovered something that went boom

While I couldn't find anything

We went bowling

And I almost won

We found a statue that broke my heart

And met a very shy fish

And Stripey

And this one

And millions more

Including baby jellyfish!

So cool

But not as cool as this little poser

Highlight was seeing the otters.  Until we couldn't take the smell any more....

We sought wisdom from a wise old creature

And marvelled over the prettiness

I considered stealing this car

While Aaron considered stealing this one

We both considered the ferris wheel.  But £7 a person wasn't cool.  

The sky was majestic

And we met pirates!

Including a long lost relative of Jack Sparrow who stole his clothes!

I dragged Aaron on the carousel 

He wasn't impressed

We got terrified by this contraption

All in all - a beautiful dress-rehearsal holiday!

xxxx

An overdue apology

I know you'll never read this, but it needs to be said.

I am so sorry.  I am sorry for hating you.  Sorry for hurting you.  Sorry for wanting you dead.
I used to look at you and pick out everything that was wrong with you.  I'd draw on you where I wanted the fat cut out or my face altered.  I'd scribble over your work and call it stupid.  I took every opportunity to insult you and degrade you.  I cannot apologise enough.

I'm still you, just a little older and currently a lot more emotional.  I'm 21 now and kinda officially an adult (though I have no intention of growing up) and looking back on old memories.  I came across an old video of you singing Part of Your World and remembered how much I hated it.  I thought I'd stick it on for a laugh so that I could cringe and regret my life.  Instead I listened and felt near tears.

Because you were actually good.  You didn't need me muttering in your ear 24/7 that you were shit because that just wasn't true.  I began to think about how differently things might have turned out if I'd just said, 'You know what, Marie?  That was pretty good.  Keep on pushing yourself.'

From now on I am going to try and start anew.  I will treat you like one of my dearest friends instead of a despised enemy.  I will be constructive rather than cruel.  I will praise.  I will never say anything to you that I wouldn't say to anyone else.  I will be kinder and I will love you again.

It's important to be a little kinder to one another.  But so often we forget to be kind to ourselves.  Shall we try it?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AQKiLZx7UlQ