Hook

I feel like I'm shrouded in the darkness.  I'm falling and I just can't stop.  I have wanted and wished for so long for a fairy with a magic wand, but she doesn't come for me.  I see her come for everyone else because they are good people but I am wicked and disgusting and vile and ugly so she will never come for me.  I think evil things and I do evil things and I must be punished.

I don't want to die, but I have to.  I am just a burden on everyone else.  I am the bitch who deserves to die.  It would do everyone else a favour?  What are my prospects?  I have none. People say look to the future but all I see is the end, the close.

If I had been kinder and prettier then I would be allowed to live.  But I think bad things and then they come true.  I thought my Granddad was dying and now he is.  I am such an evil twisted person, I didn't mean for it to come true but it did.  And I am so sorry.

I was going to do it after the last Showbiz Show - the beginning of May, but why wait that long?  A dozen other girls can do that part, I'd hardly be leaving them all in the lurch - they'd just be relieved.

I am so selfish.  As I write this, all I can think of is the people who I would like to love me.

I still don't know how I'm going to do it.  Only soon.  Very soon.

Im case this is my last post and someone comes across this , I would like you to think how much better the world is now that each selfish person did the right thing and went to sleep.

xx