Happy New Year

My year.  It's had its ups.  It's had its downs.  All in all, I wave it goodbye with some fondness and am looking forward to a beautiful new year with Aaron. 

Shortest blog ever!

xx

And the bells are ringing out for Christmas day

As I listen to the gorgeous voice of Idina Menzel (take note John Travolta) I wish you all a very Merry Christmas. 

 

I wish you a Merry Christmas whether it's because you're celebrating the mass of Christ's birth, celebrating family and friends or celebrating the new year.  If you're celebrating your material goods, then I suggest you might want to look at your priorities. 

If you don't celebrate Christmas at all (bah humbug) then I wish you happiness for the latter part of this year and good wishes for an even better year next year. 

 

Christmas is quite easily my favourite holiday.  It's the most magical of all holidays and it makes me think about all the different messages that we can take from it - regardless of religious preference.  We come together as a family and spend time together, we thank each other for the year, we wish strangers well - these are all things we should implement in every day life, not just one day a year. 

Today's Christmas thought is about the baby Jesus.  That tiny wee baby in the stable born all those years ago.  He was the son of God, but if you looked at Him would you have known?  Think about the potential that each of us have.  Sure, we might not be the next Jesus, but we all started off as a helpless baby.  He then used his courage and determination to spread the word of love, even when he was being threatened.  We can all do that as well.  We can achieve anything. 

With that in mind, I am going to wonder what I can achieve.  I doubt that I'll be able to feed thousands of people with a small basket of  fish and loaves of bread, or walk on water, or part the sea - but if we can all come together and spread a message of love that will be a massive achievement.  Christmas is such a wonderful holiday but not everyone has love around them.  While people are gorging on their Christmas feasts, there are many who are starving.  While families are bickering there are just as many people without anyone.  

 Today I skim-read my old blog posts from around this time last year and I am really pleased with how much my attitude has changed in such a short space of time.  I've talked about coming off my medication, but they've said it's not a good idea yet, but with faith, trust and determination it will happen! 

I last blogged about things to be grateful for this Christmas rather than counting the gifts we get from under the tree.  What blessings have you counted?  Even the most pessimistic of you will be surprised at your findings! 

 

 

That's not to say I don't miss anything.  I miss my dog, Belle.  We're all heartbroken without her.  I miss the simplicity of knowing what exactly I feel towards some family members.  Some nights I've tossed and turned, wondering about whether or not to send a Christmas cards.  Other nights I've cried and raged against them.  This year I decided not to.  I'm in a very happy place at the moment, and I won't have them spoil things by sending the cards back (again). 

 

 

Anyway, my rambling is at its end.  Merry Christmas to you all.  Especially: Mum, Dad, Katie, little Thomas who is celebrating his first Christmas! Ami and Luke (who is also celebrating his first Christmas!), everyone at Aelfa for making me feel so welcome and finally to Aaron.  My favourite Christmas present. 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMokI0bNbs8

 

xxxx

 

 





This year to save me from tears I'll give it to someone special

Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport.  Oh wait.  No, I don't.  But I probably should!  What I'm currently concentrating on, however, is reasons to be thankful. 

At this time of year we write out our Christmas lists filled of the things we want, we struggle to hide our disappointment when someone gets us socks (unless they're really nice) and we moan about having eaten too much good rich food.  This Christmas, I am vowing to count my current blessings. 

1) Mum and Dad

Oh yes,  Sometimes they annoy the bejeebus out of me!  Dad's more stubborn than I am and Mum can be a time bomb - but I love them both and I wouldn't change them for the world.  Not even for the love of Johnny Depp. 

2) Katie

 

This kid does not stop talking.  And she follows you round like a lovesick puppy (with the sound effects) or like Colin Creevey, always ready to pounce with her kiddiezoom and take an unflattering photo.  She has so much energy it makes you tired to look at her.  But I'll tell you what.  When she wakes me up at some ungodly hour by crawling into my bed and spending the rest of the night heavily breathing on my face while she stares at me, plays with my hair, stage whispers about the most random things and fidgets, I love it.  Deep down.  Deep deep deep down. 

 

3) Aaron

 

 

I've only known him a short while, but it took me an even shorter time to realise just how incredible this guy is and what a lucky girl I am.  He is so easy to talk to, amazingly thoughtful and considerate, and I adore him dearly. 

 

' Just because it's Christmas - And at Christmas you tell the truth - To me, you are perfect - And my wasted heart will love you - Until you look like this. '

 

 

 

4) Ami

 

 



 

This girl is incredible.  I am so fortunate to have her as my friend.  Recently she has been my rock.  If you ever need anything, my darling - just give me a call. 





5) Aelfa

Thank God for Aelfa.  Thank God for Aelfa.  I have never settled in so easily with a group of people before.  I cannot believe how much I am changing for the better under their guidance - not only in things like performance skills, but also how I view myself and the world around me.  I quite simply love them. 

5) Annlouise 

We both might be appalling at staying in consistent contact, but whenever we do remember we pick off straight from where we left off.  Thank you for being my best friend.  Thank you for always knowing what to say. 

6) Food, warmth and shelter

If you don't know why I'm thankful for these things then you're a fucking idiot and I'm surprised that you can even read. 

7)  Inspirational people

Last time I checked, the total he raised for charity was near £5 million.  Whilst he was still alive and the total was at £3 million, he continued to insist that the money go to charity rather than it being spent on himself.  How many of us can honestly say the same thing about ourselves?  In a time of great need he gave to others, and I just think that is really fantastic. 





If you don't know why Emma Watson is on this list, then I suggest you check out her speech as a UN Ambassador. 


I could go on to put in many more people on my 'Inspirational' list, but for now I'm tired, so I'll save that for another day - these two were just a taster!








8) Faith

It's 100% cool if you decide to not have a faith.  It's also 100% cool to decide to have a faith.  Just thought I'd put that out there.  Sometimes people try and make me feel bad for believing in God, but their intentions don't ever work.  You cannot tell someone what to believe and what not to believe.  My faith has been an enormous comfort to me.  It gives me hope.  It reminds me of goodness.  Religions don't cause wars.  People do. 

9)  Music

I must resist the temptation not to write out any ABBA lyrics.  But seriously, it's true.  Imagine how awful life would be without music?  Be thankful for it.  And yes, the songbird within me weeps whenever she hears the likes of miley cyrus but at least my songbird is still there! 

10)  Harry Potter

If you read Harry Potter carefully, it can be interpreted as a self-help book.  Not surprising seeing as J.K Rowling has been stuck in the pit of depression herself.  But she reminds me that there is always hope.  That there is always something worth fighting for. 

11)  Peter Pan

If you hadn't already guessed through reading my blog, I like Peter Pan.  It's enchanting and will continue to enchant me forever more. 

12) Pole

It gave me confidence.  And I cannot wait to get started again. 

“Wendy, Wendy, when you are sleeping in your silly bed you might be flying about with me saying funny things to the stars.”

I haven't written in quite some time.  I've been busy!  No, the truth is I am a much happier person now and these kind of reflections are less needed than before. 

I love my course at Aelfa.  I don't have to drag myself out of bed in the mornings (unless I've had a rubbish night's sleep!) because I am so excited to go there and get to work.  Even during this time of assessments where I'm panicking about whether or not I'm good enough, I still find plenty of time to smile at just how lucky I am to be at such a wonderful place. 

And now I'm thankful for this guy coming into my life.  He sat and watched Moulin Rouge with me even though he hated it (I know right! How is that possible?) , he is adorable, kind and makes me feel safe.  He is an incredibly wonderful boyfriend. 

I've stood out in the freezing cold to watch him play football even though my feet turned blue (he's very good!), I've let him off the hook for having Not read the Harry Potter books or seen all the films (again, I know right!).  I do this because even though it's only been a short while, I adore him and I'm incredibly lucky that he adores me too. 

So, yes.  Lots of happy things to be thinking about at the moment!  AND it's nearly Christmas!  xx